Sunday, July 19, 2009

Another one bites the dust

Dear Diary,

You know the saying "Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!" Well, I was sort of wondering what happens after the twice thing, when the THIRD boy has lied to me about what state (is that capitalized to indicate neither the physical nor the mental?) he was in.

Case #1: Me, played by my sister, the actress. Boyfriend played by Jesus look alike. Except with many tattoos.
"Hey boyfriend, where are you going"
"To visit my dad, Megan. Stop talking so much."
Next day. "Hey boyfriend's dad. Sorry to bother you! Just wondering if bf made it up, as his phone is off. No? He is not there? Check downstairs, I know he is! No? Ok weird." Six hours of utter panic later, BF #1 is located. In upstate California with his ex.........

Case #2: Me, played again by my sister. Boyfriend TBD
"Hey ----, thank you so much for flying allllll this way to meet my family and friends in MN. It really is nice to have you THE FIRST BOY TO EVER COME TO MN, and I will do everything to make you happy here."
"I'm not. I want to go back to the unnamed N. African country where I came from. I haven't had a cigarette in three days and that, combined with all of the freakishly friendly Minnesotans, is seriously making me want to die."
MEGAN: "Ok, go back to Morocco but my life totally sucks and this is super embarrassing."
BF 2: "Right? I would be super humiliated too. But my going back to Morocco (oops) is the only thing that will save our relationship."
Oh, by Morocco, you also meant Northern California, and by our relationship, you meant you wanted to save your relationship with your other American Girlfriend. Got it. I guess those are just the cultural differences in dating a french guy!

and finally, the most recent:
Case #3: Me, played by my sister. Friend, played by little Jenny. New Boy, played by Zach or Cody.
TEXT from boy that I have been dating for a few weeks: "Hey can't see you. Shit to do. Leaving town to go to my ridiculously fucking WASP douche filled CT town where all my friends have so much money they don't need to work or do anything but talk about money and tits."
Me, in a text: "Cool, have fun. TTYL."
but that's the weird thing.. I never TTYL'ed again with him!
Me: Call, text, text, call "where are you?"
Friend, who set us up but is excused from all responsibility as I should have known better when he blacked out on the first date: "Hey I thought you were in CT."
Him: Oh, I am.
Friend: But that's totally not possible, you were just with my boyfriend in the city ten minutes ago getting wasted."

And so, my few faithful readers, is the three scene story of how boys that I date seem to think that the little lies are not enough. Why lie about just being tired and wanting to go home, when you could say you urgently need to go to another State.

Three times is a charm,
Megan Marion

Thursday, July 2, 2009

I am starting a new section

I am starting a new section on the blog. It is called "today in unemployment."

Yesterday, in unemployment, I decided to color coordinate my jewelry with my hot pink nail polish by painting it hot pink.

Today, in unemployment, Kelley dressed me up and I styled my hair to make me look like Robert Pattinson.

Megan Marion