Livin' la vida locarb

Dear Mr. Jones,

I’m on day five of my semi-Atkins diet (my version doesn’t prohibit fruit, veggies, un peu de wine) and so far, the results have not been particularly outstanding. In fact, I’ve steadily put on weight since I started this thing. However, Mimi and Pascal are really having “the time of their lives” (this is Pascal’s fav new expression… the other night we prepared our usual mostly-inedible dinner for him and mid-way through, he told us sweetly, “Your food is delicious. I’m having the time of my life!”). Anyway, those two rascals like to place whatever carb-ey items are on the table in front of me, feigning dramatic ignorance of my dieting attempts, and erupting in laughter each time. Sometimes Megs breaks out in a song about Kit Kats or Pain au Chocolate, which is starting to majorly tick me off. I kind of feel like that blond chick in Mean Girls who believes she’s on a strict diet regime and unbeknownst to her, the destructive but attractive Lindsey Lohan (ahem, Megan Marion Haynes Kelly) is slipping her heavy-duty carb-powder and laughing all the while. I’m onto you Mimi and unless this stops, and I mean pronto, you can count on your beloved “blankie” taking a suicidal jump into Pascal’s bug infested pool.

Regards,
Julia