Dear frequently asked questions, THANKS for nothing

Chere Denis,

The other night, the littlest one and I encountered an enormous, vile African cockroach (which was to be the first of many). After frantically spraying nearly an entire bottle of Raid in the apartment, we were able to trap the venomous creature under a blender. We quickly consulted the internet to learn more about our toilet dwelling friend as we wanted to ensure we would not meet his family that night. We clicked on frequently asked questions regarding cockroaches, hoping there would be a question that said "how do you prevent cockroaches from getting into your bedroom and crawling all over your body while you are sleeping?" Instead, we found that the following question was more important to the aspiring cockroach connoisseurs: "Could cockroaches develop albino mutants in the wild?" If you wanna know, you'll have to google it yourself.

Respectfully,
Julia Andrus Kelly