Chronic + Drunk: A History Lesson

Dear Dennis,

My sister exaggerates. I have never been one for drinking, smoking, keg stands, or body shots. And I hardly think I have suitors in Marrakesh. I have, however, developed a recent interest in "urban slang," and an ability to drink upward of two glasses of wine. So Denny, I give you the history of the word crunk, with a promise of stories from my weekend to come:

In 1995, Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter were scheming ways to get past the TV censors on Conan's late night talk show, and they settled on an all-purpose, suitable replacement for the infamous seven dirty swearwords that they couldn't say on TV: Crunk. The choice to use that word was definitely not random. Ice T just happened to be on the show that night, and he likely fed the word to them beforehand and certainly helped fuel its popularity during the telecast ("That was seriously crunked up, right there."). But Ice never claimed to have come up with the word--he probably got it from Dirty South rappers, who had been using it for years as a euphemism for getting really crazy and fucked up on marijuana and alcohol (stoned and drunk. Chronic plus Drunk = Crunk). Or maybe crack and drunk. Or coke and drunk. Or maybe just being crazy and drunk. Whatever it is, it means getting really crazy and fucked up. And with Conan's introduction of the word to northern suburban audiences, Crunk came into its own as the recognized sound of the new generation of Dirty South Rap, prompting white college fratboys everywhere to wander around going "WHHHUT!! OKAAY!! YEEEAAHHH!!" like annoying dipshits. and it's all thanks to Lil Jon, and by Lil Jon I mean Dave Chappelle.

Kelley, this weekend I suggest you go out and get crazy+drunk because after two weeks of the the-most-shitty-week-in-2009 award going to yours truly, I am ready to pass it on. If you would like to be considered for this, please email or post your sob story and I will consider you for the coveted prize. And by prize, I mean very special Moroccan paraphernalia and a list of suggested reading self help books courtesy of Oprah and Julia.

Love,
Megan Marion Eckhart Tolle