Working Girl

Dear Den Den,

Ten years ago, I certainly did not envision myself working at my father’s office again. Throughout junior high and high school, I had various stints working for my dad during the summers and to say it was a bumpy ride, is something of a euphemism. Once, I was fired three times in a day. The first time was in the car, on the way to work. I was let go for my usual offense: bad attitude. After a fairly pathetic but successful attempt to get my job back, my dad re-hired me. An hour later, he fired me again. Same infraction: bad attitude. Apparently, screaming at your boss/dad for interrupting an important personal phone call is not acceptable behavior in the work place, especially when your job is to answer phone calls. Lesson learned. A few fake tears and a promise to repent for my bad-ittude later, I was re-hired. I might have labeled like 4 files before I was fired again. GUESS WHY!? A bad attitude! At that point, I’d sufficiently outraged my employers and I realized the dismal outlook of re-securing my position at the law office. Figuring that if I left at that moment, I might be able to catch the tale end of Days of Our Lives, I fake-ruefully and always gracefully accepted my job termination and hit the road. SUCKERS, I thought! Like that office has a chance in hell of operating without me! Those bozo lawyers will be begging and pleading for me to come back in a matter of minutes and I’ll be eating Doritos on the couch, assembling a list of my demands!

To my great surprise, the offices of Kelly & Jacobson did not call me that afternoon and my mother did not greet my new found unemployment with cheer. Well, needless to say, I was forced to beg and plead for my secretarial position back and was re-hired the following day. In the last ten years, I have been hired and fired more then a few times. Today, I sit proudly at the receptionist desk, making personal calls at every chance I can get, emailing all of my friends as I perfect my “I’m hard at work on the computer” look, and generally not doing anything I’m paid to do. I’ve been working here for a record 3 days in a row, so I expect to be let go within the hour.

Tootles for now,
Julia